Watching Stephanie Briggs sing...

Stephanie Briggs!!! (a great singer and a cool friend!)




















Nathan and me hanging out!















Just me and Clint!

Trip to Austin

The pattern

My brain fights.

I struggle.

I'm meant to be someone. ~I'm am no one.

I cannot tolerate mediocrity. ~ I cannot rise above it.

I am a rebel without a cause.

I am an angel without a vision.

I do good, but wish to be bad.

I wish to be good but find no happiness in it.

I struggle with the desires of my heart.

I feel small.

I have no goals.

I have goals.

I outgrow my goals.

I become bored with my goals.

I cannot think of a goal which is big enough to warrant my attention.

People try to put me inside a box or define goals for me.

I feel trapped.

I pull away to escape but realize all is utterly pointless.

I look for a way to get around the fact that things are pointless.

I enjoy the small things.

I keep myself hidden from reality.

Reality calls to me.

I rise to meet it.

It washes over me like a tsunami.

I am overwhelmed.

My reaction is to flee.

My heart flees. ~My body remains.

I become depressed, withdrawn.

Physically ill.

My head and health torment me.

I must flee.

I flee.

People push me to do and be more. ~ The more they push, the less appealing it seems.

I start again on my rise to the top.

People view my goals to be worthless, my talents wasted, my life at best, a cry for help.

I give up.

The pattern continues.

Random notes I've written

"I've been thinking today about being a ghost. They have it easy, they can just pick a huge mansion and live in it rent free. I've never seen a ghost sitting out on the curb with a sign that says, "needs work." Never see ghosts filling out applications, taking tests, paying taxes, registering vehicles, or getting things inspected." ~S

Sarah, as defined by a friend:

"Sarah, this is who I think you are, my personal thoughts about you. You are a caring, fun loving, romantic women who lives for moments of moonbeam magic in your own little world and yet you seems to be mysteriously shy. Outgoing ~ yet reserved, a godly women who has her struggles but is a Texan filled with pride. A woman with a drifters dream who steps out of her nutshell only it is if cracked open. A woman who is not afraid of the word commitment but the thought of being tied down and not being able to fulfill her dreams. A woman who prides herself on personal achievements but has serious doubts in her abilities. A woman full of faith but who is afraid to walk in it. A women who all in all would make any man weak enough at the knees to kneel and take her hand in a relationship long term."

Idiot though you may be..

Idiot though you may be.....
(inspired by a letter from a friend.)

Idiot though you may be, some natural tendencies do I see.
To carry burdens on your own instead of placing them before God's throne.
Can't find the prison key, you say?
The load and strain causes you to sway.
Black the heart, and dead the soul, the Lord gives mercy.
Let him console.
He'll take the knotted souls of men, the dying hopes, the walking dead, and give them life with him instead.
So if your soul be black and cold, your actions ever wrong and bold. If your life is caged and sad, Your thinking -it is ever bad.
Fear not.
For though death's sting is near, Eternal life is given, and lest you think it's cost not dear, Face the picture of his agony.
Watch the tears of blood and sweat, The beaten back, the thorn crowned brow, His dying breath as He, for you and me, gave up His spirit, His body held by cross and nail.
All this to conquer death and hell, To render aid to those in prison cell. If you but place your trust in him, He'll take those dim and dying thoughts. Replace those walls, untie those knots. 'Tis His delight for sinners dear to find in Him freedom from fear. Idiot though you may be, Remember it was He who died to set you free. Taste in Him the conquering victory. Live your life for all to see In you a picture of the living free. For that, my friend, is what He intended you to be.

Why the prophet weeps.

Saddened by the future.
It is miserable; to see the end before one reaches it. Choices must be made.

Act they say. On what? Available information? or what is known to be the end result?

This puzzles me. I understand tonight, why the prophet weeps.

Introducing: Your newest hobby!

Ok, here is what you should do with your time, and the man who can help you with supplies.

http://www.deadlywind.com/index.html

(Tell him Sarah sent you.)

Purpose in Life:

As a Christian young woman, my purpose in life is to serve the Lord with all of my heart, soul, and mind. I am called to be a witness to others by showing them the way to eternal life by giving evidence of the relationship I have with Christ through words, actions, and lifestyle. Presenting myself to Christ as a living sacrifice to be molded and shaped by His plans and desires for me.

The artist's desire

As an artist my desire is to develop and refine the artistic abilities that God has given me so that I might use art effectively to present others with accurate and professional visual pictures of the glory and majesty of Christ and the beauty of God’s creation.

Here it is...

A Brief Statement of my Salvation Experience:

When I was five years old I realized that all men sin and that because I had sinned I would be separated from the Lord for eternity. I knew that God had sent Jesus to take away my sins and that the only way to be forgiven was to accept His gift of salvation. Then, on January 1rst in 1988, I realized the extent of my need for a personal Savior, so with simple childlike faith I bowed my head and asked Jesus Christ to be my Lord and Savior.

Texas tails and tales

Get this video and more at MySpace.com

Alligator hunting...

Well, I've been telling you guys that I was planning on going alligator hunting for a while now. Here is proof.

Canoes and such..

I spent Sunday afternoon paddling down the guadalupe river with a friend. We had a blast watching for turtles and fish. It was a pretty hot day so after a while we decided to swim.

Once, while we were in the water we came across a snake. He was also in the water for a swim. He was less than 5ft. away so you can imagine that I was ready to climb back inside the boat. The little guy (about 3ft long) couldn't figure out what to do when he saw us. He started swimming away, then turned to swim back. I have never climbed inside a canoe as quickly as I did then. My friend was not far behind and he accidently filled the canoe with water. Times were shaky. We paddled to shore to dump the water out of the canoe since neither one of us wanted to try to dump it out in the river. Fun times!

Texas Water Safari

This Sat. I caught a ride up to San Marcos to watch the start of the Texas Water Safari. T.W.S. is a 260 mile canoe race down the rivers of Texas and across the bay in Seadrift. The race begins in the beautiful Aquarena Springs of the San Marcos river where fans splash and cheer as the canoes paddle onward but finishes with a desperate paddle across the bay to Seadrift where nothing but miles of marsh and mosquitos cheer the canoers on or keep them company.

Checkpoints include Staples Dam, Luling hwy 90, Zedler mill, Palmetto State park, Gonzales Hwy 183,Hochheim 183, Cuero 766,Cuero 236, Victoria city park, Dupont Boat ramp, Salt water barrier, and the seadrift flagpole bayfront park.

I followed the race to Palmetto state park on Sat. evening, took Sun. off to attend church and also to visit with a friend then caught back up with the race in time to see my friends finish in Seadrift on Mon. afternoon.

So...

So life is just about as random as it gets these days. The new college and career class just started at church. I'm trying to support it's fledgling efforts but my grumpy self sure didn't wish to be in Sunday school this morning.

I went to the park this afternoon. Ate lunch with my friend. It was so peaceful and all was right with the world.

I have a friend coming down from Houston this week. We may hang out some and then watch a canoe race this weekend! Yeah!!

Spent time talking with my EX today. Life has changed so much. It is funny how things that were soo important once can fade so completely into the background. I had so many mixed emotions I can't even tell you if I was sad or glad for the chance to talk to him. I think there will always be a special place in my heart for him but then I wonder how on earth I let myself get involved. What was I thinking?

Moving on, I'm going to play crocodile hunter with a camera and some crazy guys from Texas and Oklahoma next week. Fun Stuff. Guess we will be after alligators!

In the meanwhile my Grandmother,parents,and siblings are headed out to Italy. I sure do hope they bring me back some postcards. Or whatever else they can fit in the suitcase.

Well, that's it for now folks. I'm heading to bed. TTYN~

Caves

I recently took a tour of the Longhorn Caverns in Texas. History echos down it's passageways. The sound of Indians making council for war, the frightened breathing of a captive waiting her fate. The labored entrance of her rescuers. Later, the sound of soldiers making gun powder in the civil war. Forbidden liquor during a dry era. The memories of these events echo down the cavern of this beautiful cave as tourists wander through it halls. A beautiful place to visit.

The prize!

Wrapped inside a plastic grocery sack was his prize. The small boy carefully placed it inside the chest of ice. His face, red with the heat of the sun, was glowing. He had done it. The next step in his plan was to prepare his treat for dinner. He searched for a clean knife. Finding none that could meet his standards and being told to wait he decided to show me what was in his sack. One very dead, somewhat bloody bullfrog. Anyone hungry?

Mistaken identity?

When I went to the bowling alley Sunday night I saw one of the guys talking on his cell phone behind the counter. I wanted to greet him without interrupting his conversation so as I walked by I knocked his baseball cap over his eyes. He glanced up at me with an odd look and then continued his conversation. I turned to greet another friend who was grinning from ear to ear and about to break out in serious laughter. He looked at me and said, "You know that isn't David right?" Sure enough David was also cracking a big smile. They had watched the whole scene with sheer delight. I have no idea what his twin brother thinks of me now...

Whispers...

The winds swept across the sands, for a moment it was as if she heard the muffled voices of soldiers. Did the angels carry the sound on the wings of the summer breeze? She listened closer. Silence once again filled the air.
...but Lord, keep them safe she whispered in prayer.