Sometimes I am so frustrated with my life. I basically want to sit down and cry. I'm hungry for fellowship. I'm sick of always having to fight my way to the surface to breathe. I feel the need to slap the next person who tells me I should go to college. I just want people to love me for who I am. I'm feeling a distinct need for emotional support. A few hugs would be nice every once in a while.
I've been feeling down today but tonight a few of my friends called to see if I wanted to go bowling with them. We had a good time and I was starting to knock my blues. I picked up another painting job while I was out and added an art student to my schedule. Happy thought...and yet, with all the extra chances to paint murals coming I am wondering why I decided to take on art students. I should probably stick with one or the other. Stress is mounting. Why do I stress out about things so much? I don't want to be stressed or cause stress but it seems like that is my talent these days.
I took note of the people around me this evening. A friend had just been in a major fight with his Dad and his eyes looked so lost and vacant. I wanted to hug him and tell him things would be ok, but I don't know if they will. He is staying with a friend tonight...but I don't know if he has a place to go next week.
Another girl asked me if I would be her nanny. Her "live in" of five years is leaving and they have a two year old son who will need someone to look after him while she is working. I didn't know what to tell her...I hate saying no, I think I heard myself say that I would help her watch him while she was looking for someone, but that I didn't want to do it long term. I felt honored, she invited me to move in, said she would pay room and board plus $20.00 a week. It was a good offer since I know it would be a real financial sacrifice on her part. I weep to know that she is in such need. I've been saying a few extra prayers tonight in hopes that the Lord will take care of the whole situation.
Anyway, that was just a little glimpse into my mood this evening. ~Sarah
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1 comment:
3 am post - and a long serious one at that - count on me for prayers, and fro never telling you to go to college. and the nanny job is a tough one, not to be enetered into lightly.
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